The scars of us Read online

  “Never gets old,” I hum into her ear.

  “Huh?” she asks, tilting her head to the side, looking me in the eye.

  “Having you here with me. Holding you the way I always thought I would. I’ve become someone I never wanted to become. I lost all control, hating everyone that crossed my path. I was at war with the world because I lost everything that fucking meant anything to me. I felt like I lost you both and my life was over. But, here you are, and I feel like my life, the real life I was always meant to have is just about to begin.”

  “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, Braxton.”

  Rubbing my jawline with my fingers, I look nervously at Isabelle. “I want the same, too.”

  “Are you sure? I mean, you don’t sound sure.”

  “Of course. This is all new for me. I have thought about wanting you for so long that now the time has actually arrived it seems scary as fuck.”

  “This is all scary. I’ve missed so much of my life on the outside, that it all feels a little weird. So surreal. For the first time in a long time I feel free to have a life. Experience the things I have missed out on.”

  I feel like my heart stops beating for a millisecond. I’m a jerk, no, scrap that, I’m a fucking idiot. Not once did I think about what being free would actually mean for her. How goddamn scary it must be seeing life outside of the four walls in which she’d been contained.

  “We need to make a list,” I blurt out, interlinking my fingers through hers.

  “What do you mean?” she asks, cocking her head.

  “A bucket list. A list of places you want to go or things you want to experience. It never really occurred to me that you missed out on so much. I was so busy being lost without you that I failed to realize how many experiences you lost yourself. How much you’ve missed out on.”

  “I’d love that,” she breathes in amazement. “There are many things I want to experience with you, Brax. It’s the little things you know? Like going to see a film, going to the beach. Spending lazy days just curled up in your arms. Oh, I know,” she says excitedly, kneeling and resting her hands against my bare chest. “Climbing our tree and watching the sunset together.”

  “What?” I gasp playfully. “The one that broke my damn leg! No way.”

  “Not even for me?” she asks with a flutter of her irresistible eyelashes, a heartbroken expression on her face.

  I snake my arm around her, drawing her to my lips. “Isabelle, you’re my fucking Achilles’ heel. I’d pretty much do anything you asked.” Dipping my head, I press my lips against hers, needily. I allow my eyes to drift shut as I kiss her with every ounce of emotion that I have.

  “Wow,” she mumbles, pressing her finger to her lips. “We may need to reserve some time for me to catch up on all the amazing kissing I have missed out on.” A small bubble of laughter escapes her, and I can’t help the smile that creeps on my face.

  “I’m sure that can be arranged,” I say with a wink, turning and making my way over to the closet. I pull out a t-shirt, sliding it over my head before grabbing a pair of sweatpants and pulling them on. Taking a look over my shoulder, I catch Izzy staring, one finger resting against her lips, her eyes wide and glued on me.

  “Stop.” I laugh a little, shaking my head. “You’re freaking me out.”

  “I can’t,” she replies, “you know how hot your body is, right? I mean, come on, look at you.”

  “Stop, seriously.” I laugh, dismissing her with a wave of my hand.

  “So,” she blurts out suddenly. I stare at her, covers pulled up to conceal her breasts and all I want to do is unravel her and make her mine again. Because I know he’s touched her, hurt her, and I want to be the one to take away the pain and memories. “Do you think we could maybe go shopping, grab some new clothes?”

  “With me?” I all but screech.

  “Well, who else?”

  “Maybe you could ask Tara. I think you two would really get along.”

  “What, so we can compare notes, is that it, Brax?” she shoots back and I’m a little peeved by her words and anger.

  “What! No. Why would you say that?”

  “I’m sorry,” she says, falling back on the bed, taking the sheets with her. I storm back over to the bed, falling down beside her.

  “I know how tough this has been for you, but don’t ever think anyone else compares to you. You have nothing to be insecure about. I suggested that because I actually believe that besides the fact that she’s Carter’s cousin, she is a nice girl. One that went out of her way to help me find you when there was absolutely nothing in it for her.”

  “Apart from the fact that she’d be there to pick up the pieces if it all went disastrously wrong.”

  “It really wasn’t like that. She’s been a friend, a really good friend and one I think you’d really bond with, given the chance.”

  “Okay, okay.” She turns to face me. “I’ll give it a chance. I’ll make the effort with her.”

  “I knew you would,” I say kissing her loudly on the tip of her nose. “Now get yourself dressed, we have breakfast to make.”

  Letting out a breathy sigh I look at the pancakes on the plate. Complete and utter disaster.

  “Smells good,” she sings as she walks through the door. I look up at her for a second and feel like I’m about to stop breathing. She is wearing a pair of jeans and an off-the-shoulder top which looks about two sizes too big, but she still looks like an angel walking toward me. With a light sprinkle of makeup and her long white-blonde hair tied in a messy bun on the top of her head, she looks absolutely adorable.

  “You look fucking beautiful,” I groan and she lets out a little laugh.

  “I guess it’s amazing what sleep and being held can do for the complexion.” She points to her cheek, laughing coyly. “So, the, um pancakes look nice.”

  “It’s the best I can do,” I say pushing the plate full of less-than-appealing pancakes.

  “Okay. You stick to making coffee, I’ll make the pancakes,” she insists, walking around and kicking her hip out until it makes contact with me.

  “Okay, okay,” I say holding my hands up in surrender. “I mean, come on, I can’t be good at everything.”

  “Oh, stop being a bighead,” she chuckles, reaching for the ingredients, making the pancakes like she’s done it a million times already.

  We sit down at my small dining table, a huge stack of pancakes in the middle and hot coffee steams as I look at her sitting across from me. Reaching for the pancakes she stacks them on her plate and devours them. She’s clearly hungry and I can’t help but watch as she forces in mouthful after mouthful.

  “Don’t you want any?” she mumbles, her mouth still half full of food.

  “I’m just enjoying the view,” I chuckle. Her hand moves forward to the stack of pancakes and I watch as she takes one between her finger and thumb then proceeds to launch it at me like a damn Frisbee.

  “Shit,” I grumble as I feel it hit me right on the chin.

  “Eat the damn pancake,” she laughs hysterically, holding her stomach as she rolls from side to side. “Oh, damn. The look on your face.” She continues laughing, pointing at me frozen, just staring at her.

  “You’re not funny.” I try to keep a straight face, fighting back my urge to laugh along with her. But it does something so fucking crazy to me, seeing her so happy, laughing so freely. And in this moment, it resonates so deeply with me that I am the one that can make her happy. That together we are as perfect as I’d dreamed.

  “I’m sorry.” She tries to calm her laughter, swiping her hand under her eyes in an attempt to clear the tears of laughter. “So, hey,” she says with a change of subject, “what’s in those cases?” She nods over to the plastic crate and huge case stacked just beside the couch.

  “It’s money. Fuck loads of it.”

  Straightening herself, she pulls her legs onto the chair, resting her hand there. “How much?”

  “The case has three mil
lion. That was the money we took for the deal. The rest is my share of the clear-out from Alvrez’s safe.” She lifts the cup of coffee, pausing and resting it against her lips. Her eyes are wide, and I see the shock written all over her face.

  “We don’t need his money.” She speaks quietly, placing her cup down and pulling her hands inside the sleeve of her oversized top.

  “Money is money, I don’t care where it came from,” I say a little bluntly, but it’s the truth. There are no feelings involved when it comes to making money. It’s just a means to an end and leaving it all for the Savages was never going to happen. “Anyway, Carter wants back his three million. But he failed to realize this was money from our business. Money I probably won’t get a fucking penny of now that I’ve walked away.”

  “I can get a job. I will work. We don’t need Alvrez’s money.” She shudders and I know she feels uncomfortable about it.

  “Listen, I think you deserve that money more than anyone after what that sick bastard did to you. How he got that money is irrelevant.” I watch as she cringes as though she’s about to say something, only the buzzer on the gate interrupts us. “I, uh, better see who that is.”

  She nods and I race over to the door, checking the screen to see who is at the gate. Nate removes his helmet, holding it under his arm.

  “Hey, man,” I speak through the intercom.

  “Can I come in?” he asks and I don’t reply, I just open the gates for him to make his way onto the driveway.

  “It’s Nate.” I turn to Izzy, giving her a heads-up. She nods, continuing to sip on her coffee as I open the door to meet Nate outside.

  “Hey, nice ride, man,” I say, giving his brand-new bike the once-over. “Impressive.”

  “Can we go inside?” His tone is serious as he points to the door, dipping his head.

  “Sure. Everything okay?” I ask, narrowing my eyes on him and suddenly feeling vulnerable without my gun.

  “We need to fucking talk.”

  “So, let’s talk,” I reply with a shrug, my eyes glued to him as I watch him enter and I lock the door behind me. “You don’t look like someone who just landed himself fucking millions.”

  “My father sent me.” He walks over to the dining table, pulling out the chair and falling down against it with a thud. “D’ya mind?” he asks Isabelle, pointing to the plate now half full of pancakes. Stuffing it in his mouth, he sits lazily, crossing one leg over the other.

  “Jeffries had a call from Carter, and you’re lucky it’s me here right now, because Jeffries is fucking pissed.”

  I inhale a deep breath, knowing exactly what this is about, my blood boiling as the anger rises. “Fucking Carter,” I say reaching down to the coffee table and pulling out a cigarette. Resting it loosely against my lip, I light it, tossing the lighter back against the wooden table with a thud.

  “I’m hoping you’re gonna tell me it’s bullshit, Brax. I fucking hope for your sake it isn’t true.”

  “Just spit it out…”

  “You killed Xander, the night of the party?”

  Fuck! I’m going to bury Carter alive. “You have to listen to me,” I say looking directly at him, dropping back against the coffee table. “She’ll kill me for telling you this, but I think you need to know, to truly understand what happened that night.”

  “It’s true?” he gasps. “So Carter is telling the truth?” He pauses for a second, his tongue darts out, wetting his bottom lip.

  “Tara was at the party. He dragged her to the side of the building and fucking forced himself on her. I was leaving and heard her stifled screams and saw it with my own eyes. He was raping her. Fucking raping Tara,” I roar, anger lacing my tone.

  He tears his eyes away from me, leans forward, clasping his hands in front of him and drops his eyes, focusing on the ground.

  “Fuck,” he exhales loudly, pushing his shaking hand through his long hair. I swallow the lump in my throat as I keep my eyes on him, worried about how unpredictable this kid might be. I don’t know why his father allowed him to come here, all I do know is that Carter has caused this, and I’ll make the fucker pay for what he’s done. “I wasn’t expecting that,” he mumbles, breaking the silence that fills the room.

  “I had no other choice. That prick walked onto our turf, touching something that wasn’t his.”

  “You know it ain’t like that, Brax. We come to your parties and we are told we can enjoy the women that are there. It goes without saying.”

  “The fucking whores that are there, yes. Not the boss’ cousin,” I correct him. “Listen, I know something is going on with you two. I’ve told her it shouldn’t happen, but it’s none of my business what the two of you do. But think about it. What would you have done in my position?”

  “I’d have dragged his ass to the boss and let him deal with it.”

  “Really? Faced with what I saw, blowing out his brains was the only fucking answer, man. Right or wrong, I made the best decision at the time. So, why did your father send you?”

  “I had to beg to take his place. He’s out for blood. Feels completely betrayed. You lied to him, Brax. Says we can’t trust you anymore.”

  “I wasn’t the only one who kept this from you,” I snap, taking a huge drag of my cigarette. “Carter has some balls telling you about that and pinning it all on me. Yes, I fucking killed him, but he was aware of it and covered up what had happened. You know why he’s doing this, right?”

  He shakes his head slowly. “No clue. It’s all a bit fucked up considering you two were partners. The infamous Carter and Braxton.”

  “He doesn’t like the fact that I walked away. That I won’t let him control me.”

  “Listen, I don’t want us to get caught in between you two, and whatever crazy shit you’re fighting about, but I seriously have no clue what I’m going to say to Jeffries about this. He wanted to come here and finish you himself. He feels betrayed, especially going to him for help, then he finds out you killed his man. I talked him into letting me come over here to get the truth from you.”

  “So, what’re you going to say to him?” I place the cigarette against my lips, taking a small drag before heading over to the door and flicking it outside. “See,” I shout over to him sitting at the table, “the way I see it is this. What I did was justified, and quite frankly, if I hadn’t come to you about helping, you wouldn’t be sitting with millions and all the drugs you can supply for the next three fucking years. So, honestly, I’m a little annoyed that you would challenge me on this.”

  My voice is low and stern, and everything about the way I’m standing tells Nate I mean fucking business. I ain’t justifying myself to the MC or anyone.

  “I get it, man, I totally get it.”

  “So run along and see Pops and explain I did what I had to, and he’s now the richest fucking MC boss for miles around. He should be fucking thanking me not threatening me.”

  “Don’t shoot the messenger,” he replies jokingly, his hands held up in a mock surrender. The last thing I want to do is be a prick with Nate, because there’s something about the guy that I quite like, but I have to send a clear message back. Don’t fuck with me. With or without Carter, I’m a force to be reckoned with.

  “Tell your father I’m insulted by your visit and he should call me to arrange a face-to-face meeting. Pronto.” My eyes dart to Isabelle, who is adjusting herself in her seat as she tries to catch my eye.

  “I, uh, I’m not sure that’s a very good idea, Brax.”

  “We’ll talk about this later,” I snap, my eyes wide as I glare at her. She shrinks back down in her chair and I feel an instant pang of guilt. She rolls her eyes before sliding off her chair, grabbing the empty plates and storming into the kitchen. The cutlery rattles and it sounds like the plates have been thrown into the sink.

  “Someone ain’t happy,” Nate whispers with a nod of his head. “Listen, Brax… I have serious respect for you, man. I actually think you’re a good guy; well, as good as someone on the wrong sid
e of the law can be.”

  Standing from his seat, he offers his hand to me. I glance down, pausing for a second before taking and shaking it. “I’ll be sure to put your case forward to Jeffries. Make him understand your point. Hopefully he’ll listen long enough. You know, he’s kind of a hot head, but I’m sure you already know that.”

  “Sure,” I say dropping his hand and crossing my arms over my chest. “I’ll wait for your call.”

  Giving me a quick nod, we head over to the door and walk over to his new Harley. “Listen, before I go, I should really thank you for not saying anything about the whole Tara situation.”

  “Honestly,” I say raising my hand a little, “I’m not getting involved. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t know anything. But as her friend,” I say lowering my voice and closing the space between us, “don’t fuck her over. If you like her, treat her right. None of this MC bullshit about fucking anything that moves. If you want that lifestyle, then fine, but walk away now. She deserves better than that.”

  Mounting his bike, he doesn’t respond. He grabs his helmet, sliding it over his head. He revs the engine and gives me a solid nod of his head before driving toward the gate. I make my way back inside, pressing the button to open the gates and watch as he drives away.

  “You have to stop this, Brax.” Her voice snaps me from my thoughts.

  “What?” I turn and watch her walking over to the couch, pulling her legs up and resting her head on her bended knee.

  “Wanting to go to war with everyone.”

  “This is not what I want, but how it has to be, Izzy. I know this may come as a shock to you, but this is my life now, whether I like it or not.”

  “We have the money.” She steps up from the couch, slowly walking toward me. “Let’s just go. Start a new life together. Just us. Just you and me.”

  “It doesn’t work like that. You can’t just walk away from this shit. It will catch up with us, follow us wherever we go.”