Keeping Hope (Broken Girl Series) Read online

  “What?” he says innocently. “I just needed to take a leak.”

  “Not cool, Ash. Not cool. I thought you were really pissed at me.”

  He hooks his arm through mine and laughs an exaggerated evil kind of laugh.

  I dart my eyes, glaring at him. “You’re really not funny.”

  “Well that probably explains why you haven’t kissed me yet.”

  I shake my head, laughing at his pathetic attempt at a joke.

  “Listen, Barbie, I better be heading out. You need to go get ready to meet lover boy.”

  I look over to the clock, checking the time.

  “Shit,” I gasp. “I have like two minutes to get ready before the cab arrives.” I start to panic. I kiss Ash on the cheek before racing up the stairs to get changed. I wave down to him before sprinting down the hall.

  “I’ll close the door on my way out, shall I?” he yells, before slamming the door loudly. I giggle to myself as I change into a clean summery top and skirt.

  I give myself one last check in the mirror before heading down the stairs and out the front door. As I fumble with the key in the lock, I hear a car pull onto the driveway. I turn to see the yellow vehicle coming to a stop. I smile to myself. Shit, that was good timing.

  I search my purse in a mild panic, checking that I’ve remembered the ultrasound picture to show Cole when I get there. I give the driver the address and sit in the back, nervously tapping my leg the whole way. I wish I knew what this was about, and no matter how much time I spent racking my brain, I’m unable to figure out what this is all about.

  The taxi pulls up outside some apartments. They are Mediterranean in style, with a terracotta finish and gorgeous landscaping in the front. I pay the driver, jump out of the taxi, and dig in my bag for my phone to check which building number it is.

  Whatever Cole is up to, I’ll hopefully find out soon.

  Kennedy

  I walk down the path, checking the numbers on the doors. I finally find number three located just to my right. I walk up the few steps before lightly tapping on the door. I take a step back a little, wary about this whole thing.

  The door opens and he stands there bare footed, looking breath taking. He reaches out, putting his hand around my right wrist before pulling me to him. I’m dumbfounded and don’t quite know what to say. I feel like I’ve somehow been tricked into this. I narrow my eyes in a mixture of anger and frustration before pushing back on his hard chest.

  “What the hell is this, Pete? What are you playing at?” I roar.

  He steps back a little, putting some space between us. “Calm down, princess. I’m waiting for Cole too.”

  I scowl at him, not understanding anything he’s talking about. Why is he here? Why is he waiting for Cole? I haven’t got time for this. I turn, reaching for the door.

  “Uh, no you don’t,” he scoffs, stepping in front of the door. “We need to wait for Cole to show up. Let me show you around.”

  He holds out his hand, but I shake my head in response. He turns and heads down the corridor, my eyes following him as he walks away.

  “Show me around?” I ask, shouting to him as he walks into the other room. I let out a growl of frustration, forced to follow Pete down the hallway. The door leads into an open and very spacious family room with a small kitchen sectioned off by a breakfast bar. I walk through tentatively, looking for Pete. I see him sitting on the couch, a cheeky grin etched on his face. I lean against the wall awkwardly, not wanting to leave, but scared to stay.

  One look at Pete and the grin on his face makes me weak in the knees. I know I shouldn’t be feeling this way and I don’t understand why I do, which scares me even more.

  “Take a look around. I’ll just be waiting here.” He gestures with his hands.

  “I think I’d rather wait for Cole. I mean, I don’t even know why I’m here, or why you’re here,” I snap, my eyes glued to him, waiting for some answers.

  His eyes lock on mine, as he jumps up from the couch, making his way over to me. His hands are behind his back as he swaggers my way. “You mean you haven’t worked it out?”

  “I worked out you’re a jerk. Yeah I’m pretty sure I guessed that.”

  “But, you love that I’m a jerk. You love that I make you laugh.”

  “You’re pushing it,” I warn him.

  “Well answer the questions!”

  I tremble as I feel the slickness build between my legs as he closes in on me. I swallow down hard, turning my head to the side. I need to avoid his hypnotic gaze. “You’re not being fair here, Pete.” I frown.

  I let my head slowly turn back to him. He has the most gorgeous grin gracing his lips, a sure sign he’s trying to distract me.

  “You should know me by now, Ken. You know I don’t play fair!”

  I shake my head, a slow smile spreading. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a wise ass?”

  “You think I’m an asshole?” he deadpans.

  “I didn’t say that!” I snap.

  “I knew you liked me!” he jokes.

  His body is so close to mine I can practically feel the heat radiating from him. I close my eyes and he gently brushes a few loose strands of hair away from my face.

  My hands wrap around his neck, like I have no damn control. My heart hammers in my chest, as the heat sears through every inch of my body. His hands are all over me.

  I feel consumed.

  Totally lost in him, in this moment.

  He works his mouth over my neck. I tilt my head to the side, allowing him access, desperate to feel more.

  My breathing picks up, but before it gets any further, we are interrupted by a loud knock on the door, causing us to separate. Pete jumps back and takes a few steps away from me. I look at his flushed face as he mouths ‘I’m sorry’ before stumbling toward the door. I watch him as he stares at me from over his shoulder, our eyes locked until he turns to open the door.

  “She’s here already,” I hear Pete say.

  My stomach sinks at the thought of what we have just done. How close we were to going further just seconds before Cole arrived. I want to scream, let it all out, but instead I plaster on a smile, acting as if nothing is wrong.

  “Hey, baby. I’m sorry I’m a bit late,” he offers, pulling me in and kissing my cheek lovingly. “So do you like it?”

  “What? The apartment?” I shrug. “It’s okay, I guess.”

  “Just okay?” he asks, cocking an eyebrow.

  “But… I…I don’t understand,” I stutter.

  Cole looks between me and Pete with confusion. “Did Pete not fill you in?” he asks.

  I shake my head, my eyes dropping toward the floor. “I’ve not been here long,” I say, fidgeting under his hot gaze.

  “I’ll wait out in the car, guys. Leave you two to have a look around,” Pete offers, nodding in our direction before heading out of the door.

  Cole takes hold of my hand, leading me over to the double sliding doors, stepping out into the evening sunshine. I gasp a little as I look out over the balcony to the lawn area at the back of the apartment. “It’s beautiful, Cole.”

  He smiles widely. “It’s all ours if you want it, baby.”

  “You mean move in together? Living here? With you? But how?”

  “This is Pete’s aunt’s apartment. It just became available, and she gave us first dibs.” He searches my face with his gaze, looking for some sort of answer. He pauses for a second, never breaking the eye contact. “But if you feel like this is too much too soon, then just say it. I don’t want to force you into anything you don’t feel ready for.”

  I stare at him blankly, feeling a little stunned and dazed, but totally overwhelmed, in a good way.

  “Too soon. It’s just too quick, isn’t it?” he starts panicking, stepping away from me as if he’s made a huge mistake.

  “No, Cole. This,” I gesture with my hands, “this is amazing. I’m just surprised and shocked you would want this.”

  Placing his ha
nds on my hips, he leans into me. “Of course I want this. I want you with me, because without you I’m fucked. It’s our time, and with the baby coming, I thought it was best for us to have our privacy. A place to call our own.”

  I step on my tiptoes, feeling beyond excited at the thought of being with Cole, us having a home together. I tip my head upward, kissing him deeply on the lips.

  “Is that a yes then?” he questions wearily.

  I nod my head slowly, biting my lip. He whisks me off my feet, twirling me around excitedly. A little squeal escapes me and I can tell he’s buzzing about this. Excitedly, he sets me back on my feet, grabs my hand, and pulls me back inside the house.

  “Come on, I want to show you something.”

  I laugh and let him guide me up the stairs.

  “What do you think?” he asks, gesturing around him. I gaze over the room. It’s light and bright and spacious.

  “I love it,” I answer clasping my hands together, pulling them toward my chest.

  “It’s perfect, isn’t it? We could make this an amazing room for the baby.”

  I look at him, his happiness infectious. I smile back at him, not knowing what to say, but feeling utterly elated.

  “I don’t know what to say,” I stutter, pausing for a moment. I try to gather my thoughts and pull my emotions together. “This, this is more than I could have ever imagined.”

  He narrows his eyes, a small smile twitching at the corner of his mouth. “But you like it, right?”

  I push on his chest playfully. “Of course I like it, you buffoon. What girl wouldn’t?”

  He takes me in his strong arms, tilting my head back, as he looks deep into my eyes, like he’s searching my soul. “You deserve this and more, Kennedy. I promised you a future and I thought this would be a great start to the next chapter of our lives.”

  “It’s not going to be easy.”

  “If it was easy, it wouldn’t be worth having.”

  “But what about the rent, Cole? You know I have no money, no job. It’s not like I’m going to be able to earn much, if any money while I’m pregnant.”

  He sighs heavily, “I told you before, money isn’t a problem.”

  “But I’ll look like a gold-digger. I can’t contribute or help in anyway. Can’t you see how that will make me look to everyone?”

  “It’s not like that and you know it! And who cares what people think or say. This is about you, me, and the baby. Nobody else matters, right?”

  I roll my eyes, shooting him a half smile.

  “It was always my plan to get an apartment when I go to college. Now I get the bonus of having you here with me. Please say yes, Kennedy. Forget everything else.”

  “Yes,” I answer excitedly, throwing my arms around his neck.

  His hand drifts to my hip, pulling me close to him. Before I know it, he covers my mouth with his in a hungry kiss. Our lips are crushed together, making me feel like I’m walking on air. This time it felt different somehow, more definite, more intense the way our lips connected. My breaths quicken in time with his and I get lost in the passion. My heart swells and all fears disappear. He pulls back, smiling wider than I have ever seen him before.

  “So, this will be the baby’s room, huh?”

  “That’s what I was thinking,” he replies with a smile.

  I use that moment to pull out the newest ultrasound photo for Cole to look at. He holds me, staring at the picture of the tiny life I am carrying. He kisses my forehead and places his hand on my belly, feeling her move around.

  We spend a few moments in each other’s embrace. It can’t get any better than this.

  “Well, I suppose we better go sign on the dotted line,” he chirps, releasing me from his hold and leading me down the stairs and out of the apartment.

  As we make our way outside, I see Pete leaning against his car, hands in his pocket. He lets out an exaggerated breath. “Man, I never thought you were gonna make an appearance.”

  Cole throws his arm around Pete. “Sorry, dude, we had a lot to discuss. Thanks for doing this for us, man. We really appreciate it.”

  “No problem, dude. So did you decide whether you wanna take it or not?”

  “Where do we sign?” Cole laughs.

  We drive over to Pete’s aunt’s house to get the paperwork for the apartment sorted. It’s the first time I’ve been in the new truck with Cole and it’s freaking awesome.

  We arrive and park on the driveway just behind Pete’s Audi. I stare out of the car window, a little overwhelmed by everything. A thousand emotions are hitting me at once. I feel like they are crushing my chest. I know this should be a happy time and I love that Cole has done this for me, but I can’t help the feeling of guilt that keeps creeping up to the surface. I nervously start to bite my lip, but feel a soft hand caress my cheek. I turn my head to the touch.

  “Not having second thoughts already?”

  I smile a little, trying to appease him. “No way! Let’s do this,” I say, trying to sound upbeat.

  Before I get the chance to turn for the door there’s a loud bang on the window. I’m immediately shaken. I can barely catch my breath. Placing my hand on my chest, I try to steady my breathing, my heart racing at a tremendous speed. Cole chuckles a little at my overreaction, lowering the window to speak to Pete, but I don’t give him chance.

  “Honestly, Pete! Are you trying to scare me to death or what?” I snap.

  “Well… err… no, just trying to get your attention.”

  “You really had to bang so loud on the glass? You know I feel like I’ve just had a damn heart attack,” I roar.

  “Ken, what’s wrong?” I look at Cole. It’s obvious he’s shocked by my outburst. I’m pretty sure he’s never heard me shout before, at least not like this.

  “That douche.” I point over to Pete. “Always playing the joker, always pushing his luck!”

  “Listen, baby, I don’t know what’s going on here, but Pete is doing us a huge favor. I’m pretty sure he didn’t bang on the window maliciously.”

  I cross my arms, sulking like a child, knowing my overreaction is totally uncalled for. “He made me jump,” I say sullenly. I snap my head to his direction. “Sorry, okay? I overreacted.”

  Pete nods, opening the door, and offering his hand to help me out. I don’t take it.

  We signed the paperwork.

  It’s official. We will get the keys on Friday.

  On our way home, I’m nervous about Cole telling his mom and dad. I know Jocelyn will understand, but I can’t imagine his dad will. I honestly can’t expect anything more from them, and his dad’s reservations are understandable. I know this is going to be difficult for all of them. After all, Cole has a future. He doesn’t have a shitty past. He has everything to live for.

  I’m just coasting through the days trying to survive. I’m the happiest I have been in a long time, and I know it’s because of the man sitting beside me. I clutch his hand tightly. There’s no way I’m ever losing him again. I can’t let what almost happened with Pete happen again. I lean against Cole, my hands wrapping around the top of his arm. There’s no better feeling. I glance at the road then back toward him, taking in every inch.

  “What?” he asks. He looks at me, with his emerald green eyes and thick lashes blinking hard.

  “Just admiring,” I chuckle.

  He glances down at me again, taking his attention momentarily away from the road.

  “Eyes on the road, mister,” I joke.

  I feel his posture change beside me, as he sits up, his shoulders pushed back like he’s on the prowl.

  “Where are we?” I ask, as a try to take in our surroundings. None if it looks familiar in the fading daylight.

  “On our way home,” he quips. “I thought we’d take the scenic route.”

  “Oh, you did, did you?” I tease, playfully hitting the top of his tight, muscular arms. He laughs loudly, one of those gruff, deep from his throat laughs. It’s so nice to hear. Really, really good.r />
  I pull back from Cole and sink in my seat, a little self-hatred forcing its way to the surface. I’ve become just like Caitlin. I’m no better than her. I don’t know how to explain what happened to Cole. I don’t even understand how things have become so intense between me and Pete. It just did.

  I fiddle relentlessly, biting the skin at the side of my nails. I guess you could say it’s a nervous habit. I feel Cole’s hand on mine, the one against my mouth, as he pulls it away and closer to his mouth.

  “Baby what’s wrong?” he asks reverently, kissing my fingertips.

  More than anything I want to be honest. I want to scream and shout and tell him what a bitch I really am. But I’m scared. I know that my honesty will be the end of us. Any future we might have together will be ruined. I feel the sting of the tears as they break the seal and flow down my face, each drop a reminder of the guilt I carry and the person I have become.

  I feel him swiftly turn the wheel, and before I can open my eyes, we are pulled over at the side of the road, in the middle of nowhere. Within a millisecond, my seatbelt is off and he hauls me onto his lap.

  I rest my head in my favorite place, in the crook of his neck. I sink in as deeply as my body will allow, guilt stained tears flowing out of my control. I start to heave as the emotions race through my body, a mixture of regret and fear.

  Fear, well that’s one I know all too well. Regret and guilt are something I’ve never experienced until now. It is totally alien to me.

  “Talk to me, baby. Please tell me what’s wrong.”

  But I have nothing to say, nothing that can make this fucked up situation any better. All I know is I have to put a total stop to this.

  I’ve already allowed it to go too far.

  I need to do something.

  I need to take my mind away from where it is.

  I look up, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand, clearing the cloud of tears in my eyes. I catch a glimpse of his gaze and I know what I need to do. I shake my head, reaching up and brushing my hand along the side of his face and through his messy brown hair.