The scars of you (The scars series Book 1) Read online

  “I fucking need your help, Brax. I have a huge deal set up and I need someone I can trust involved. You are that someone.”

  “Sure thing. You tell me who, what and where, and call it done.”

  “Let’s talk over the details tonight. I have set up a meeting with all the crew that will be involved. After, we party,” he squeezes my shoulder as he rests on the desk in front of me. Parties are a regular thing at the Mellano house. Drugs, alcohol, and pussy on tap.

  I give a quick nod of my head as I drop my feet and dig into my leather jacket for my cigarettes. “Smoke?” I say offering the packet out to him.

  “Fuck cigarettes, let’s try something stronger. After all, we should fucking know how good the stuff is that we’re supplying.”

  “It’s too early to be getting shitfaced,” I decline. “But I’ll take some of that expensive whiskey you have over there,” I point over to his impressive liquor cabinet. He walks over and takes hold of the bottle before slamming it down on the desk in front of me.

  Grabbing it by the neck, I tilt back my head back and pour the amber liquid directly into my mouth. My lips never make contact with the neck of the bottle in fear of slowing the flow of whiskey. I gulp it down in huge mouthfuls until my throat burns like it is on fire, and the half bottle is now empty. But the burn is what I need the most. It’s what I crave to dull the ache that has never left me. The empty part of me that consumes every fiber of my being. I’m hollow inside. So fucking hollow.

  “Fuck, Brax.” He chuckles, grabbing the empty bottle and launching it into the office trash can. “You’re gonna be fucking wasted, man.”

  “Nah, I’m good. That was just enough to take the edge off.” I grumble as I step up from my chair. “I’ll be back at six, then we can get really wasted.”

  “Business first,” he says with a tone of seriousness.

  “Goes without saying.”

  “Listen, Brax. I know shit is hard for you. But I really think it’s time you move on. Call off the searches. Stop trying to find someone that doesn’t want to be found. For all that we know she might not be alive.” I glare at him, unable to stomach the words falling from his mouth. I can’t allow myself to think that is the truth. That she no longer exists. Because in my heart, she still very much exists.

  “I don’t mean that in a heartless, asshole kinda way. But you walk around like you are carrying this huge burden. It’s time to face fucking facts. She’s gone, man.”

  “Fuck you, Carter. You have no idea how I feel or what I’ve lost, so cut the bullshit.”

  The truth is Izzy is a part of me. She’s buried so far under my skin I can’t let go. I refuse to let go. It’s like she’s part of my soul and she took the damn thing with her when she left.

  Pushing my hands into my jean pockets, I glare at him. Hard.

  “It’s because I care about you, bro. I’d like to see you with a fucking smile on your face every once in a while.”

  “Not gonna happen,” I mumble as I turn and make my way out. And that’s the truth. This girl is everything that was positive about my childhood. She features in every good memory I have of being a kid, and believe me, there weren’t many. I couldn’t forget her, even if I wanted to. “See you at six, man.” I throw the words loosely over my shoulder at the man who just forced memories of Izzy to the forefront of my mind. Memories so painful I have to force them out.

  Memories that will haunt me forever.

  I slow my speed as I approach the house I’d visited a million times before; the memories of that day flood my mind. I skid to a complete stop; the pain hurts so damn much as I think back to that day. Clamping my eyes closed as the memory ravages through my mind.

  I’m pedaling so damn fast, the bike sways from side to side with the force of my feet against the pedals. I haven’t heard from her all day and I’m worried.

  “Wait,” Trav yells to me. Damn pussy could never keep up. As soon as I see the overgrown grass at the front of her house, I dismount the bike, throwing it down on the ground. Walking to the front entrance, I thump my fist against the door three times.

  “Brax, what the hell, man. What’s your damn hurry?”

  “Something isn’t right, Trav. I can just feel it,” I say breathlessly as I wiggle my legs, the tingling feeling makes them feel weak.

  “She never showed up. When has Izzy ever let us down? Ever let me down?” I sigh, holding my fist up again, ready to pound on the door once more.

  But it opens. Slowly.

  A disheveled looking Mrs. Gibson peers at me through the gap in the door.

  “Where is she?” I blurt out, not waiting for her to speak.

  “She’s gone.”

  “Gone where?”

  “I don’t know. She’s gone. Called to say she was living with her father.”

  “What. No,” I gasp, unable to understand what she’s talking about. I narrow my eyes on the frail looking woman, her eyes are red and puffy and she clings to the door, desperately trying to stay upright.

  “Why? Why would she just leave like that? She’s not even sixteen yet. What about school?”

  “I don’t know,” she screams, saliva flying from her mouth. “I can’t do this,” she wails, “leave me alone. Don’t come here again,” she stammers before slamming the door shut.

  “She’s gone,” Travis whispers, his eyes filling with tears.

  “She couldn’t have gone. She wouldn’t leave us… would she?” I reply as the hurt and anger brews deep inside of me. I love Izzy. More than anything in the world and nothing makes sense right now.

  “I don’t know what to believe,” he responds, shaking his head as he walks back over, picking his bike up from the ground. “Doesn’t sound like something Belle would do.”

  “Right,” I say throwing my hands in the air and letting them land against my side with a thud. “What the hell do we do now? Because I sure as hell can’t do nothing.”

  “What can we do?” he screeches, his voice breaking with emotion. Travis is always emotional. His heart is as big as the ocean and easily hurt.

  “We go look for her. We don’t come back until we’ve found her.”

  I shake my head in a pathetic attempt to clear the painful memories from my mind. Why? Why did I make that suggestion? I will never forgive myself. Everything that happened on the side of the road that day was down to me.

  I let out a scream of frustration as I hit the gas, speeding away from the side of the road. I drive so fast down that country road, never once slowing my speed as I make my way back into the street that I’ve never been able to leave. Despite the awful memories, I couldn’t move on. What if she came back, and I wasn’t here? I will forever clutch onto the idea that one day she will return. I have to think that she will, or everything I have been through is in vain. I skid to a stop, the smoke plumes as the rubber from my tire makes friction with the surface of the road. I look up at the guy standing at the gates of the house across the road. It’s your typical suburban family. Hard working, middle-class guy with a wife and two kids. I glare at him. They haven’t lived here long, but I notice the way he looks at me. It’s like all the rest of them look at me, and that’s with fear in his eyes. They all know who I am. They know that this is my street and what happened here with that piece of shit I called my mother. As soon as she died, I had the house flattened. Sure, it was all left to me as her next of kin, but there was no fucking way I would live in that house where she tortured me. Where she allowed her boyfriends to hurt me, over and over. I spent most of my time at Travis’ house, but when I had to go home, I always knew it wouldn’t be pretty. That I would be in trouble for something I did, or didn’t do.

  I narrow my eyes on the guy who is still looking my way. I step off my bike and notice him turn quickly, racing back inside the house. I shake my head, pressing the key fob to unlock the metal gates. Jumping back on the bike and revving the engine noisily, I speed up the driveway. I cut the engine, kicking out the stand and close the gates behind
me. I dismount, making my way inside. Reaching into my pocket I grab hold of my cell phone, checking the screen to see I have five new messages. All from Jessica.

  Shit.

  Jessica is one of Carter’s girls. The ones he brings in for entertainment. She’s the kind of girl that loves the danger. There is a group of them, all easy on the eye and easy to give it up. They’re at every party Carter has.

  I swipe the screen, reading through the texts she has sent. I shake my head, throwing the phone on the couch as I walk into the living area. Shit. This girl is becoming needy. Yeah, she’s nice, but I didn’t sign up for a fucking relationship. I’m not a relationship kinda guy, and I don’t think I ever will be. But I have needs. Sexual needs that need fulfilling. Jessica has managed that a few times, but that’s all there is between us. Fucking. Pure and simple. I never promised more. I have to speak to her, get her to fucking understand.

  I fall down onto the couch, resting my head back against the arm. I close my eyes and before I know it, the vibration of my cell phone against my leg jolts me awake. I reach for it, answering the call and holding it to my ear.

  “Fuck, man, where are you?”

  “I’m at home,” I answer gruffly. I swing my legs off the couch, step up and stretch out.

  “We are starting the meeting at six. It’s now quarter to. Get your fucking ass here, and don’t dare be late,” Carter sighs.

  “You know I’m going to be late, right?”

  “I have a house full of hot chicks waiting to suck my dick but we need to talk first. We have to get the details sorted for this meet. It’s a big fucking deal, man!”

  “I know. Fuck, I’m an asshole. Sorry, man,” I mumble as I fight back a yawn. “I need to shower but I’ll be there as quick as I can.”

  “Hurry the fuck up, man, I’m not sure how many more times I can tolerate Jessica asking me where you are. That chick is begging for your dick. You should see what she’s wearing,” he moans down the receiver. “You are gonna wanna bury your cock deep in her sweet pussy tonight,” he taunts, chuckling down the phone.

  “That chick is getting too fucking clingy, man. I have to give her the brush off. She’s becoming needy.”

  “In need of your cock,” he continues to laugh and I can’t stifle the laugh that breaks through.

  “I’m going,” I say with a shake of my head as I end the call, racing up the stairs and head for the shower.

  Fifteen minutes later, I’m ready and leaving the house. I drive as fast as I can, pissed that I’m late. That’s not my style, but I was just so fucking tired. Sleeping at night rarely seems to happen these days, too many dark thoughts swim through my mind when I lay down at night.

  I park my bike and head straight inside, nodding to the security standing by the doorway. I walk the short distance down the hall, making my way to the huge room to the left of the building. It’s where all the meetings take place. I walk with my head down, the buzz of voices reverberates through me as I try to make my way through, unseen.

  Turning the corner of the hall, my hands are inside my pockets and my eyes fixed to the floor. I lift my head as I approach the hall only to see Jessica leaning back, one foot flat against the wall, propping her up.

  “Brax,” she coos, “you made it.” She pushes herself away from the wall, closing the small space between us. My eyes flit between Jessica and the girl standing beside her, a girl I hadn’t seen in Jessica’s little group of bunnies. Jessica isn’t her real name. She calls herself Jessica Rabbit after the film character. Her real name is Brenda, so I kinda see why she tried to sexy that up a little. Her artificial red hair falls down below her waist and her pale skin is covered in a perfect layer of contoured makeup. But this new girl, well, she looks different. She’s quite short but has the biggest brown eyes I’ve ever laid my fucking eyes on. I swallow down the lump forming in my throat as I grow excited by the pretty brunette in front of me. Her olive skin tone has a light sprinkling of freckles over her nose and across her cheeks.

  “Who’s this?” I ask with a nod of my head. My eyes are fixed on the brunette, the off the shoulder top reveals a large, detailed rose tattoo.

  I bring my dry lips between my teeth, biting down on them as I watch a cute smile curl at the corner of her mouth.

  “This is Tara. Tara meet Braxton.” Jessica points between us and Tara holds out her hand. I glance down, letting a small chuckle escape me.

  “I’m not really the hand shaking type,” I say with a lift of my brows, leaning closer to her. She stumbles back until she’s pinned against the wall. I lean in, resting my hands either side of her head. “I’m more of a fuck ‘em til they scream my name, kinda guy,” I say with a whisper, my breath against her ear. I feel her body shudder. Pulling back, I notice her wide eyes fixed on me.

  “Got it?” I ask, giving her a little wink.

  “Huh, uh,” she replies nervously, her head moving up and down ever so slightly. I catch a glimpse of Jessica as I step back and turn to make my way inside.

  “Baby,” she smiles, running her long, manicured finger down the skin on my bicep, “I tried calling. I texted a few times, too. I wasn’t even sure you’d be here tonight.” Her bright green eyes bore into me as she stands beside me waiting for an answer.

  “We need to talk later. But right now, I’m late for a meeting.”

  “Okay, baby, anything you want. I’ll wait all night for you if I need to,” she says, her tongue dashing out as she licks her lips seductively. I roll my eyes and reach for the handle of the door. I make my way into the smoke-filled area, the loud voices echoing through the room.

  “Glad you could show up!” Carter jokes, holding out an arm to me. I walk over, giving him a man hug before sitting down beside him at the head of the table. “Right, let’s get this deal planned out.”

  For the next fifteen minutes or so we talk about the fine details of collecting the drugs from the asshole known as Alvrez. He is someone we haven’t dealt with before but his reputation precedes him.

  “I hope I have a mutual understanding with Alvrez, but I’m just not sure we can trust the guy.” Carter takes a huge gulp from the glass of bourbon, placing it down on the table, spinning it round and round. “We need to be prepared that this might not be a straightforward deal, but make no mistake, if that motherfucker tries to screw us over, I’ll have his head on a motherfucking plate. The head of the MC club has our backs. They are relying on this deal more than anyone. They are our feed down the chain. They have people they need to supply and we have a deal with them to fulfill. I cannot afford to have them on my back.”

  I look at the crew sitting around the table. They all nod in agreement and we know the score. This deal has to happen, or we are all in deep fucking shit.

  “So, boys, Braxton is heading this deal. He knows the score, so follow his lead on this one, got it?”

  The room fills with replies from the guys and Carter steps up. “Let’s fucking party.”

  Six, long, isolated years I’ve been trapped in that cabin. Six long years since my dad took me away from everything and everyone I loved. Part of me was always aware of his illness. It was like he didn’t know any better. He thought he was saving me from the tainted world. Isolation with him would keep me pure.

  But this.

  This is much worse.

  This is a whole life I never imagined existed. These people are evil and the binds around my wrists and ankles cut so deep I feel the warm trickle of blood across my bony ankles. I look up at the ceiling; my sore eyes can’t shed any more tears. I’ve cried until it’s impossible to cry anymore. My body is weak, and I can’t remember when food last passed my lips. I shiver; my whole, naked body covering in goosebumps. My eyes flit around the dark room. The black and red décor feels like it’s closing in on me. The curtains are blocking out the sunlight and other than the bed and a chair, there is nothing else in this room. It’s worse than my previous home of isolation. Something I never thought would be possible.

&nb
sp; My father forced me to live in the cabin. Every single day. Although I could see it, outside the cabin was completely out of bounds. Dad said he was keeping me safe. Making sure that nothing would ever happen to me. But he also talked about the demons in his head and I knew there was something not quite right with Dad.

  Little did he know that when he died and I finally escaped, I would be walking straight into the clutches of evil.

  I allow my eyes to flutter shut; trying to force out the bad and replace it with the image of Brax’s beautiful face. The memory of him is etched so deeply in my mind. And also my heart. He’s my safe place. The one I think about when times are bad. The only boy I’ve ever loved.

  Braxton.

  The boy that will forever hold my heart.

  I loved him when my whole life was full of pain. It didn’t matter that Mom had become a drunk and never bothered with me. Because Braxton and Travis, well, they showed me the meaning of true love. We were best friends. The kind of friendship some people can only dream of. It was special. Every shitty day turned into a good one with them. They made the dark skies turn bright and my empty, lost heart, full again.

  Until that son of a bitch turned my whole world on its axis. I was held captive, away from my two best friends and made to believe it was for the best.

  Although I know it wasn’t. Nothing good came from the solitary confinement of the room I was locked in.

  I think about Braxton every day. I wonder if he ever found love. How he and Travis are doing? I have missed those crazy boys every single day for the past six years.

  My senses on high alert, causes me to freeze at the distant sound of voices. I swallow down hard, desperately trying to coat my dry mouth, my throat stinging from his previous assault. My throat tightens in anticipation, my heart pounding as the fear courses through me.

  I can’t take anymore.

  In my mind, I know I will never survive. When I escaped, all I could think about was the life I’d longed for. The life I was meant to have with Brax and Travis. Only I exchanged one type of evil for another.