Keeping Hope (Broken Girl Series) Read online

I rush down the hall, banging on the doors. I’m frantically trying to locate someone, anyone who can take me to the hospital to see Abbey. I’m angry and scared. The two emotions raw and driving me insane. I have to see her. What if she dies before I get a chance to say goodbye?

  I growl in frustration that no one answers. I storm down the hallway, knowing they must still be downstairs in the dining area. I rush with my head down, knocking into a muscular figure, setting me off balance.

  “Shit, I’m sorry, Ken.”

  The hum of his familiar voice causes me to look at him, dead in the eye. I lift my head slowly, realizing his eyes have not left my face. He moves closer, so close. I feel his warm breath on my skin.

  “Kennedy, look at me.”

  “I can’t,” I cry out.

  I feel the warmth of my tears as they stream down my face.

  “Tell me what I can do to help you.” One hand grazes my side as the other wipes away my stray tears.

  “I can’t believe he didn’t tell me. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!”

  “It’s not my place to be stepping on any toes, Ken. I guess the timing wasn’t right for him.”

  “I need to see her,” I sob, my breathing all over the place. I inhale sharply, taking in Pete’s sweet scent.

  “Well, then let’s go. I have money. Let’s call a cab.”

  I lock eyes with him, wondering whether this is just another one of his lame jokes. I step back, taking his hand in mine, still looking directly into his light brown eyes. They have flecks of gold and appear to have a fire burning within them.

  I stand there mesmerized by him. “You would do that for me?” I ask, my heart pounding and my face flushing.

  “Of course I would, Ken. Let’s go call a cab.” He pulls on my hand, taking me in the direction of his motel room.

  He pulls out his key and fiddles with the door handle. He holds open the door, gesturing for me to go in. I stand rigid, looking at him. I fold my arms across my chest, giving him an unspoken warning.

  He raises his eyebrows. “Just calling a cab, Ken. Don’t worry, it’s not a ploy to get you in my room. If I remember right, that’s your trick, isn’t it?” He shoots me a cheeky wink and my face heats in response.

  I walk in the room and sit on the edge of the bed. I place my shaky hands on my knees, trying to steady myself. I feel like I’m drowning in grief and confusion. I jiggle my legs, needing to dispel the feeling of my amplified senses. I take several deep breaths, but my senses are filled with his aromatic scent. It completely fills the room. Every breath I take intoxicates me. I shut my eyes tightly as I listen to the hum of his voice as he calls for a cab. I feel his warmth suddenly appear beside me, his hand resting on my leg.

  ‘Breathe’ I tell myself.

  I feel Pete’s weight shift on the bed. I turn to see him pulling his legs underneath him as he sits crossed legged beside me.

  “I don’t know if you got the gist of that conversation, but a cab will be here in about fifteen minutes. What do you want to do for the next ten?” He looks at me and I watch as he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

  I glare and chuckle all at once.

  “See! I knew I could get you to smile,” he laughs.

  I look toward him; the sadness overtaking me. My thoughts are consumed with what Abbey is going through, the images almost too much to take. I bite the inside of my cheek, a weak attempt at fighting back the swell of impending tears.

  “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, resting his hand on my back.

  “I shouldn’t be smiling. My friend is critically ill in the hospital. It just feels all wrong.”

  “You really think Abbey would want you to be sitting here upset? Everyone knows how much Abbey loves to laugh, and I’m going to be frank here, Ken. You’re much prettier when you laugh.”

  I screw up my face. “Hey.”

  He holds up his hands in surrender “Just saying,” he chortles out.

  He pokes my side, causing me to jump. My mouth twists ruefully. I drop down, lying flat on my back resting my arms over my eyes.

  I feel his weight shift on the bed beside me as he lies down. I turn my head toward his, our faces practically touching. I close my eyes as I take in a deep breath, not knowing how to feel with him laying here beside me. Inside I’m hurting, confused and exhausted. I fought for my freedom, only to find that Abbey has lost hers.

  Pete clears his throat, trying to get my attention. I drop my arms, turning my head further toward him. His puppy dog eyes bore into me, his lip curled downward. I chuckle lightly, fighting back the tears. I blink down hard and a warm, stray tear falls slowly over my face and down my cheek.

  Pete reaches his hand up to my cheek. His thumb swipes away the tear. I can’t help it; I lean into his touch and the warmth of his soft hand as it grazes over my skin. He hooks his fingers around the side of my face, pulling me to him.

  His lips are barely touching mine, but before I know it we are kissing. Not full on passion, but gentle, sensual, soft slow kisses. I realize what we are doing and break the connection, jumping off the bed and onto my feet.

  I glance over at Pete. His face fills with sadness and regret. He slips off the bed, standing in front of me. I step back instinctively, increasing the distance between us.

  I hold up my hand, indicating for him to stay where he is. “Please, Pete, don’t.” I hang my head, the shame and disgust washing through me.

  “But…” he stutters.

  “I never wanted this to happen,” I interject. “I think we should go down and wait for the cab.” I look up slowly and see him nod in agreement.

  “We need to tell Cole where we are going. I don’t want him to freak the fuck out and think something bad has happened to you.”

  We head downstairs and straight out the main entrance. I notice the headlights of the cab pulling into the gravel driveway at the front of the motel.

  I rush over to the cab, jumping right in. I don’t want to bring attention to the fact that we were going out. I didn’t need the drama or confrontation with Cole right now. I need to be with my friend.

  My thoughts are dominated by Abbey, my nerves playing havoc with my body. I can’t stop myself from shaking. The sick feeling in the pit of my stomach causes me to wretch. I force myself to hold it back, but the feeling keeps coming. The sooner we get there, the better.

  I listen in as Pete calls Cole, and although he sounds pissed, I think Pete makes him understand.

  The drive to the hospital is relatively quick. We rush inside, stopping at the main reception desk to ask for directions to the ICU. The receptionist indicates that it is located on the third floor, pointing us in the direction of the elevator.

  I feel my anxiety and nerves hitting me hard. I know I’m about to face a nightmare I never expected. I reach out to make the selection for to go up, my hand trembling as I can barely contain my emotions.

  Pete smiles sadly before reaching out and taking my hand into his. I can’t look at him. I keep my head down, hoping to evade his eye contact. The elevator arrives and Pete pulls gently on my hand, leading me inside. He turns, pressing the right button, before trying to pull me against his chest.

  I can’t, I just can’t do this with him. I’ve obviously leaned on him far too much, and with my emotions all over the place, I need to distance myself. I step back, my weight resting against the side of the elevator.

  “Let me help you, Kennedy. Don’t push me away.”

  “I can’t,” I stutter, trying to form my words, trying to make sense of this crazy shit.

  “Can’t what, Ken? Open your heart? Be comforted? You know that makes no fucking sense, right?”

  “I don’t know anything anymore,” I whisper. He pulls me against him again, holding my head firm to his chest. I couldn’t fight him off physically or mentally, even if I wanted to.

  The elevator pings as we arrive at the floor to access the ICU suites. The door opens quickly. I look out to see Jake standing there, hands in
his pockets, looking disheveled. His head tilts up slowly, his face hard and stern as he looks between us. Pete loosens his hold as I hastily back away.

  “Jake, fuck dude, I didn’t realize you’d still be here.” Pete steps forward, embracing him in a man hug. “So good to see you, man.”

  Jake pulls back, his face remaining stern, no sign of a smile in sight. His eyes dart between me and Pete, confusion written all over his face. He narrows his eyebrows before glaring at me.

  “So, where the fuck is Cole? This all looks a little too cozy.” He points between us. “Is there something going on here?” his voice adenoid as he stands, his face like thunder, in front of us.

  I shake my head and drop my eyes, before straightening up, looking him dead in the eyes. I wasn’t going to let him talk like this. I was here to see Abbey, not get the third degree from Jake.

  “There’s nothing going on here, Jake,” I state, resolutely.

  “Yeah, man. Fuck, Kennedy is just upset. I’m comforting a friend, just the same as I would you.” Pete attempts to pull Jake into him, in an exaggerated way, laughing, and obviously trying to break the tension.

  “Dude, let go of me,” he chuckles. “Pete, you’re such a dick,” he says, straightening himself, looking around to see if anyone is watching.

  “I’m sorry, guys. My heads all over the place.”

  “Jake, honestly it’s okay. This must be so hard for you.”

  “Yeah, this is so fucked up. My mom and dad are insisting I go home. They are refusing to pay anymore hotel bills, so I guess I have no fucking choice.” He lets out a huge sigh, pushing his shaky hands through his molten brown hair. “They’ve been great, ya know, but they are worrying that this will affect my grades. I guess a part of me knows they’re right. I just don’t know that I can leave her.”

  “It’s not forever, Jake,” I offer, trying to reassure him. I stroke my hand down his arm. He smiles sadly, just a slight curl of his lips in the corner as he starts to lead us down the corridor toward ICU. I look around us, my eyes fleeting from one end of the hall to another, searching for where we need to be.

  Jake leads us through the double doors into a bright white receptionist area. There are nurses and doctors seated all around and I physically start to shake as I take a fleeting look around. There are rooms opposite the reception area, separated by glass doors. I put my hands around my throat, trying to stop the bile I feel rising.

  Jake walks back over and leads us part way down the corridor, pushing open the door.

  I gasp loudly, my hand flying to mouth. Abbey is lying on a hospital bed, hooked up to all sorts of machines. I dash over to her, dropping into the seat at the bed side. I take her hand, kissing it over and over. I look up at an unrecognizable Abbey. The pain burns inside me like scalding hot water, increasing in waves, but never quite ceasing. I want to change things. It ought to be me there, not Abbey.

  This is all my fault. I caused this.

  I brought the evil into their lives and now my one true friend is laying here in front of me, critical and fighting for her life. I beg with her, plead for her to not give up. My sobs become louder, as I grip with every ounce of hope that she will be okay, that she will make it.

  I bring her hand up to my cheek, just holding it there. Frozen.

  I feel Pete’s hand on my back. I glance over to Jake standing in the doorway, one arm folded across him, the other holding his hand up to his mouth, his clenched fist rests against his lips.

  I can see it written all over his face. He blames me. And I know he’s right. My hand flies down, holding my stomach. I feel nausea rising along with my sobs.

  I’m practically wailing at her bed side, scared to look at her. The bile stings the back of my throat and I have no control over it this time. I dash out, over to the bathrooms just opposite the hospital bay. I swiftly open the door, letting it slam behind me as I lunge toward the toilet, sinking to my knees. I grab hold to the side of the porcelain, retching violently, each repetition stinging more than the last. My stomach contracts tightly as I heave, the acidic smell filling my nostrils.

  I jump at sudden contact. Someone moves my hair away from my face. I tilt my head to look up, my eyes connecting with Pete. He squats besides me, handing me a plastic cup of water.

  “Try taking a sip,” he offers. He reaches behind him, pulling some of the tissue paper from the ream. He scrunches it a little before wiping the side of my mouth.

  “Looks like you need this,” he jokes as he passes me the paper. I try to smile, but I can’t even force one out. He looks at me apologetically, wincing a little with unease.

  “I knew it wouldn’t be long before you got me on my knees,” he chuckles, his obvious attempt at lightening the mood.

  I shiver, close to trembling as I try to push myself up from my kneeling position. I nearly fall back, but Pete catches me, pulling me into his strong arms. He holds me like I’m a dead weight.

  I feel my breath rattle in my lungs as I try and look away from this beautiful man’s face. I can’t say that I’ve ever really noticed Pete, but here, being held in his strong hold, I can’t push back the feeling that rises from the pit of my stomach.

  The fact that I like it when he holds me, but I know I shouldn’t. I know this is wrong. He strokes the hair away from my face as I try to pull back from him. I look over to see the silhouette of someone in the doorway. As I look up, I’m met by a grimacing Jake, his arms are folded tightly across his chest.

  “Nothing going on,” he hisses through his gritted teeth. “You sure about that?” he asks, well more like accuses, as he tilts his head to the side.

  “You really are reading too much into this, Jake. Can’t you see she’s in fucking pieces here? Jesus, Jake, have some compassion!” Pete’s voice is raised, anger oozing from his words. I rest my hand on my tear streaked face, stepping back a little from Pete. I’m feeling as awkward as hell.

  Jake narrows his eyes, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “Compassion! Pete, are you freaking kidding me? If it wasn’t for her, Abbey wouldn’t be in that hospital bed right now.”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Pete rages. “You’re out of line, dude. This isn’t Kennedy’s fault. It’s those sick fuckers that ran you all off the road that are to blame for Abbey being in hospital. This ain’t no blame game, dude. We are all here for Abbey.”

  “You have no idea how hard it’s been for me,” he spits out.

  “It’s been hard on all of us,” Pete exclaims.

  Before anyone else gets chance to speak, we are interrupted by the sound of a cell phone ringing. Pete rushes into his back pocket, pulls out the phone, and answers it. I look over at Jake nervously. His eyes burn into me like lasers. I snap my head away, trying to make out the conversation Pete is having. I adjust my body, trying to get Pete’s attention.

  He mouths ‘Cole’ as he continues to talk.

  “Yeah, man, we’ll be right there. Yeah, I understand. Bye.”

  “What’s wrong?” I rush out.

  “We need to get back to the motel. It’s Hope. CPS has come earlier than scheduled and she’s practically hysterical. I could hear her screams through the phone, Ken. She won’t leave until she has seen you.”

  I gasp, knowing exactly how Hope must be feeling. Poor thing will be so frightened. I need to get to her and sort this out. I take the tissue and wipe my face, trying to pull myself together. I need to be strong, not for me, but for Hope. I’m the only one she knows she can trust.

  “Let me say my goodbyes to Abbey,” I sniffle.

  I race back over to her. Standing beside the bed, I stroke her head, planting a lingering soft kiss to her cheek. I hold her hand up to my chest, needing to feel her close to my heart.

  “This is not the end, lady.” I lower my head to hers, my voice barely a whisper as I continue, “I need you, Abbey. Don’t you dare leave me.” I swallow down hard. “This is bye for now, not forever, you hear me!” I choke, fighting with everything I have to stop my emotions and co
ntrol the threatening tears.

  I slowly release her hand, placing it beside her before taking small steps backward, away from the bedside. I blow a kiss, waving, as I make my way out of the room, closing the door silently behind me.

  I grab the door handle tightly in my hands, standing there, praying that this isn’t the last time I will see her. I look up, through the blur of tears, at Pete who stands in front of me. Jake is just behind him, and despite his animosity, I know he’s being this way because of his feelings for Abbey. I just didn’t realize how strongly he felt for her. I make my way past Pete and over to Jake, wrapping my arms around his waist. He doesn’t move and he doesn’t reciprocate. I know he blames me, but this is my way of thanking him for being by Abbey’s side when I couldn’t.

  I step back, unlinking my hands from around him. I try and catch his eyes, saying a silent thank you before walking out of ICU and back down the corridor.

  Pete’s hand appears on my lower back. I turn to look at him. He smiles coyly. “We should really get moving, Ken. I’m really worried about her.”

  “You really have taken a shine to her, haven’t you?” I search his face, a slow grin spreading across it.

  “Nah, not me, Ken. I’m not that guy.”

  “Oh, I think you are.”

  We arrive back at the motel. I twist, in my haste, struggling to unfasten the seat belt. Pete, sensing my anxiety, reaches down and swiftly unclips the belt. Scarlet heat covers me from head to toe. His hand is against mine, sending shivers over my body. I turn awkwardly to get out of the car as fast as I can. I approach the hotel door; the faint sound of screams becomes louder as I charge through the entrance toward the heart-wrenching cries.

  I race into the dining area, my heart beating through my chest. I see Hope curled into a ball, screaming, crying out. I stand on shaky legs, the shock hitting me full force. The room falls silent as all heads turn toward me. With all eyes on me, it’s enough to snap me from my shock like state. I shuffle my feet over, dropping beside Hope. I take her in my arms, pulling her as close as our bodies allow.